Size 12

Today I wore size 12 jeans .... all day long!

Enough said!

185! 50 pounds lost....

So my original goal weight was 185. Actually 185 has always been my goal weight - for about 10 years I have thought that 185 is a good number. It's not so low that it feels out of reach (like 150 is really skinny!) but it still is thin. When I started this journey back in April, I decided 5 pounds each month is reasonable and that would get me to 185 by February. Then, in June, my diet change completely kickstarted the weightloss and it just started to fall off me (usually about 10 lbs a month). I realized at my last weigh-in (before Labor Day) that my 192 put me 7 pounds from my original goal. Then I weighed in after Labor and had zero weightloss. Depressing. So at Friday's weigh-in I was hoping for 2 pounds on the scale, best case scenario 4 lbs. 4 lbs would be good, that would be 47 lbs lost so I could tell people at Katie's wedding 50 lbs (close enough!). I was nervous at weigh-in and when it beeped and I looked down, it said 185.6 lbs. I can't describe that feeling. A HUGE VICTORY!! I may have even fist pumped. Clearly, 185 isn't my goal anymore. I just want to see where my body lands based on my smart eating but to lose 7 lbs in one week is amazing and to hit 185 in the same day was just exhilerating! Still as I write this a couple days later, I can't believe it. SO EXCITING!!!

High Heels

So I like my high heels but I have a pair of boots I don't wear when I know I'll be walking. I tried on my size 32 jeans today for the game and they basically fit. However they are long so I really should wear heels with them.... I pulled out my black heels figuring that now that I weigh 50 lbs less it will be easier to walk further in them. Sure enough, the balls of my feet don't hurt as much. I can understand more now how twigs (i.e. fashionistas) can wear high heels all day long. When you're not putting 230 lbs on the balls of your feet it's easier to wear them longer! YAY, not only am I in fabulous jeans but I can extend heels to my personal life more!

Katie's Wedding

So today was Katie's wedding. I was kind of looking forward and dreading it. It would be fun to see some people but the awkward conversations with those I don't know well, I don't like that stuff. Anyhow, I had my fabulous dress (size 14!!) and went with Mon & Dad. We got there and Stephanie (cousin from CO) is just arriving. Now Stephanie hasn't seen me in like 2 years and I highly doubt she's heard about the weighloss. She noticed immediately and commented, she actually commented a few times throughout the night. I have gotten better at the compliments. It's generally not a reflection that I didn't look good before (well I definitely didn't look like this!) but rather an encouragement for all my hard work. So a few people came up to me to comment on my weightloss (Uncle Bob's "who's that hot chick?" was sweet albeit a bit awkward). The worst was Katie's cousin from her other side of the family (totally wasted) telling me that I looked great considering I used to be heavy. She brought up a broken chair (faulty chair, I wasn't that big) that I would have liked to keep forgotten. When she repeated "no you used to be really heavy" it became offensive. Ahhh alcohol, you lose all filter.

One thing I do have to figure out is how to handle attention. For example, I used to not really have a waist so not very many people grabbed me around the middle. I feel like I've missed a critical step in developing, how do I handle the random drunk guys when they pay attention to me? I never had to deal with that before.... I haven't really changed, I still won't be flippant in dealing with guys (sometimes the Jewish law of no contact before marriage seems easier, it certainly gets rid of awkward/questionable situations). So this is something I'll have to deal with. It was fun to not constantly adjust my dress or cover my arms. Many things are so much less of a concern/issue for me now. I still have some fat spill at my elbow but overall my arms are toning up (and shrinking in size). Now I just have to make sure my appearance continues to be a minor aspect of my life. The important thing is WHO I am, a child of God.

The Ones...

So I typically do classes for my workout but every so often I hit the machines for a few minutes. I never really bother with the settings since I have my heart rate monitor, I just do quickstart. Today, I was going to do a full workout on the "yellow footie machine" so I started inputting my stats. When it got to weight, I realized I get to put in 192. Not 200-something but 100-something! It was an unexpected moment of joy, right there in the smelly crowded gym. Those are the moments that make the smart choices worthwhile. Meal by meal, bite by bite, I get healthy. Soon I'll be putting in 160-something, which would just be amazing!!! There's always something to look forward to!