Hips & ribs

I can't remember the last time I felt my hipbone. I remember thinking how it was another sign of a skinny person - "wow that's your hipbone!" I realized laying down one night that there was my hipbone! (Why can't we be as skinny standing up as we are laying down?!?Gravity is evil but I digress. Then I was in TBC a few weeks ago and I noticed I could see the outline of my ribs! They do exist :) and they're coming out of hiding.

Youth sizing...

So this weekend was the Broncos game and since none of my old paraphernalia fit me I had to get some new stuff for the game. I got some on eBay but also planned to get more in Denver since places like Old Navy and Target carry Broncos gear here. So much cheaper than NFL Shop! I was looking in Target today for a zip-up sweatshirt and stumbled upon Youth sizing. Was this a secret of skinny people? The clothes are so much cheaper ($28 vs $40 for a zip-up sweatshirt)! I was so excited that I fit. That's my new plan, forget women's clothes to show my support, I'm checking out what stuff there is online in girls and boys sizing! I'm all about saving money and the stuff is just as cute! I got a Tebow jersey for $24 in boys. After the game he played today, I'm glad I got a deal. Fun discovery - thanks Target!

Airplane Food

Oh TSA security, why must you derail my eating? I struggle when I am taken off my plan, whether that be eating out or finding myself hungry unexpectedly while I'm not home...

This is the big weekend! Knocking something off the bucket list - I'm going to the Broncos game. I am so pumped (painted my fingernails blue and orange yesterday)! I planned ahead what I would bring on the plane, some of this weekend I can control my eating. I wanted to stay as close to my normal routine as possible so I grabbed a single serve Chobani and brought my apples & PB (my latest obsession). I knew there was a chance that security would consider yogurt liquid and confiscate it. Sure enough the security guard took it. Shoot! Now I was headed onto a 4.5 hour flight with just apples & PB.... Probably not enough to hold me over, I ate breakfast before I left but that would be 6 hours on just apples.... So I became to review my food options. Of course it was too much to hope for a package of yogurt but there were yogurt parfaits... I started the search on My Fitness Pal to determine what was my best option. With McDonalds at least I now what I'm getting. The random stands could SEEM to be a good choice but may have hidden terribleness. After about 10-15 minutes of indecisiveness I decided just a side of eggs would be best. Yes, I had eggs already this morning but the protein will be filling and there is little that a place can do to plain eggs to add unknown calories/fat. A decision made. I am learning how to make better decisions on the fly all the time! Subway's the plan for lunch once I get the rental car....

The tuck-in

It's odd the things I associated with "being thin". One of those things was the ability to tuck a shirt into pants and were a belt visibly. I always had to big of a belly to do that, I spent years drowning myself I oversized shirts to hide my belly or pulling shirts down when they rode up. I have been tucking shirts in for a while, mainly into skirts. Tonight I was wearing jeans and a sweater. When I was walking, I realized that I finally accomplished what I've always thought looked so nice - shirt tucked into pants with a belt. It's probably a really New England look but hey that's my style! Next summer it'll be khakis with polo shirts tucked in (SO New England!) I still have some belly to get rid of but I'm very proud of how far I've come. The weight may not be falling off at this point but my body is trimming out!

Pretzel M&Ms

Some things seem to speak to me and I really struggle to say no. One thing I see regularly at work (pretty much every time I go to the pantry for food or water) are the pretzel M&Ms. There's a small dispenser, for $0.25 you can get a handful of pretzel M&Ms. What's not to like - sweet & salty, chocolate & carbs. I have to say no, it's not worth it (short term enjoyment at the cost of my long term goal). Sometimes it's easier than other days. Today I was hungry, (or at least I seemed to be hungry, I definitely ate enough that I shouldn't have been) so the calling of those pretzel M&Ms was louder. I am proud to say I didn't give in but I am still dreaming of the day where my "fat girl" desire for unhealthy things is gone... I often doubt that day will ever fully come, they may subside but gone completely? Doubtful.

I'll just have to continue to develop my willpower!

Different ... But the same.

Sometimes I struggle to understand the impact my weightloss is having on my life. I ran into my neighbor today and she commented on how great I look (thanks!) saying "it's really an amazing change". I replied (rather flippantly) "totally different person" and that was that. However, it got me thinking, am I really a different person? Has the change been that drastic that I'm a different person? I know some things have changed - I used to never pass up pizza and would gladly prioritize things over working out. So clearly my choices have changed but has who I am changed? I see the same person - I am still loud and opinionated yet at times very socially awkward. It's probably something I'll never understand and it's a waste of my time to think about it, I'll just get a headache. I should always be looking to develop and grow and this is just me developing into a healthy person that makes smart choices for my body. In the future I'll have something else to develop in order to become the woman that God wants me to be. Just something I was thinking about....

Brussel Sprouts

One (of the many) new things I have found I enjoy as a healthy eater is brussel sprouts. They definitely get a bad reputation! I've always bought them frozen but today I saw what they look like in their natural state. They grow on a stalk. Who would have thought that? Not me! Gotta love Trader Joe's - they taught me something new today!

The Dress

You may think I'm talking about a wedding dress, most times when a girl references "THE DRESS" it's the white expensive variety. For me it does happen to be white but it's my goal dress. I bought it back in July with my mom & sister but I didn't fit in it. Initially I said Summer 2012 but then decided it should be what I wear to my birthday dinner in February. When I need to push myself (like at the end of a spin class), this is the dress I picture. I think I can - no make that I will!

This morning I was wondering how much further I had to go so I put the dress on ... and it zipped!!!! Not ready to be worn outside my apt (still a bit to go for that) but now I may need to tailor this if I want to wear for my birthday dinner! It was definitely 'OMG is this real'? moment!

Here's before (4 inches to go) and after!

M is for Medium

I took a fieldtrip to Salvation Army today as I no longer have a single pair of dress pants that fit me. I found a few exciting things but it was the sweaters that were the best. I started looking for larges but I found out that mediums fit me! I even got one small (clearly a bigger small but still a small)!

In shopping for a fleece vest at TJ Maxx, the large size for my favorite jacket was too big. So I had to go to another TJ Maxx to get a SMALLER size! That's never happened before... It was always that the sizes were too small...

I've always been conservative in my sizing especially as I lost the weight (no need to wear something too small!) Clearly today taught me that I need to think of myself as a Medium!!!

Old Clothes

So Christy has harassed me that I can't just wear super old clothes (we're talking high school here). There are a few things that I saved because I loved them and I told myself I'd fit back in them one day. I've been blowing through them one by one but today I wore a sweatshirt from HS and it was a bit big! It was another moment...

Here's a pic

Plateau

Today I busted through my first plateau. I had a great victory to hit 185 on 9/16 but then hung steady at 185 for 3 weeks! I was getting discouraged but told myself if this truly is a life change in my eating then the number on the scale shouldn't impact my decisions. I rededicated myself to eating right, no cheating or sweets allowed from Monday until weigh in this morning. Something worked because I was 186 on Monday morning and 180.6 today! I just have to keep making wise choices, one day at a time!

Calfs

So I've always had big calfs*. I've blamed genetics but it was really annoying for things like boots. They never fit my calfs. Last year I bought 2 pairs of "extra wide" knee high boots (flats and high heels). I went to wear my high heeled boots tonight and the calf was big! I actually considered if it looked too odd to wear but decided they were fine. With the weight loss has come a smaller "me" in many areas, including my calfs! :)

Now I just have to get my watch resized - another thing that's shrinking is my wrist :)

* I'm pretty sure this should be "calves" but I didn't like how that looked so I made an editor's decision to use poor English!

Great Adventure

So tonight we went to Great Adventure for Frightfest. I was recalling the last time I went (May 2009) and how much trouble I had picking an outfit. It should be easy - jeans and a top. However, I had no casual pants that fit me at the time. I was living in dresses and elastic skirts on weekends. This time the problem was finding a jacket that fit - my jackets are too big! :) Plus, riding the roller coasters is easier because I fit better. I've never had to worry about not fitting in a seat (thankfully, I was never that big!). But it was easier this time! Just another moment...

These moments keep me going, this is why I eat brussel sprouts!

Donations Part 1

Tonight was our adventure in a zipcar to donate my business clothes. The plan is to have Salvation Army come pick up my casual clothes but I wanted to get my workwear somewhere that will get it into the hands of those who need it.

It was rainy and we were running late but it all worked out. It was a lot of fun dropping them off knowing how much good would come from them. We had 8 bags so it took two trips. When we came with the first round, the woman was so grateful. She said they were running low and totally needed the bags. I know that bigger sizes are particularly in demand (according to their site as well as others) so that was a bonus. It was fun to say there's more coming!

It was cleansing to give the clothes away KNOWING that I'll never be those sizes again but happy that I could pass them onto someone who will continue to get use out of them.

I've included the picture of my pile to donate (casual and business wear). :)