172

I finally hit the (altered) goal - I am below 175! To do it during the holidays is amazing. For so long I was in the 180's that I began to wonder if that was just my healthy weight? All this working out and I'm just stuck. I hit 185 in mid September, which was awesome but that was 3 months ago! Finally, 172 - that's just amazing.

I can't even begin to think about the 160's, that would just be ridiculous! My focus: staying commited to my healthy eating and hitting the gym. Bring on the endorphins!

Christmas Parties

So the holidays are a terrible time to be healthy, let alone lose weight. I've just been trying to be consistent and not give in too often. Tonight was our work holiday party and as HR I feel I need to attend these things. So I came armed, I brought my secret weapon - gum! It wasn't hard to avoid dinner (the food did not look good) but the dessert table was a landmine. Luckily I was able to just stay away from the table. I passed just long enough to take a pic but not long enough to get a plate. Another small win!

The perfect spin bike

Today I found the perfect spin bike at 62nd and Broadway. Just under the AC, which was blowing hard. :) I wonder if this bike is popular in classes with people grabbing dibs early? It should be! In the back and under the AC - just perfection!! Made spin just that much better.

Side note: I am pretty sure it's time to invest in spin shoes. The instructor today said they're affordable (start at $30) and give you a better workout (apparently it helps the calves more). Sounds like a reason to justify the expense! I just assumed they would cost like $50 just for ease.

Will I ever learn?

There are some things I'll always struggle with. Cereal has been an issue, a particularly deadly combinations is my mug of maple brown sugar shredded wheat and chocolate chips. It's so yummy and like dessert to me. Sometimes I just get weak and bring things into the house I shouldn't. This weekend, on the way home from the bus on Saturday night, I made the deadly mistake of bringing milk into my house. Of course this meant I needed to get cereal. fast forward to TJs on Sunday and there I am throwing maple shredded wheat into my cart. I deserve it I tell myself. It's not like I am buying the candy cane Oreos just speaking to me. Ohhhh why?!? Of course, it's Monday night and I've eaten more than one mug of cereal. SO BAD and the enjoyment is so fleeting. I must be stronger!

Yoga

So I am super late with this post. I tried Yoga back in late October but here's my thoughts, just a month late ;)

So there's a Yoga class after the step class I do on Saturday night. My friend Patti joined me for step and suggested we stay for Yoga. I've never done Yoga before so I agreed to stay. I knew it wouldn't be a cardio workout but it would strengthen without a big impact of my knees (genetic bad knees here). I did tell the instructor I was a rookie and she was very sweet. We stood to the side so we weren't front and center. My embarrassment has to be a bit hidden. People do Yoga barefoot, which at the gym is a bit weird when you think about it. Patti took her shoes (and socks!) off so I followed suit. I grabbed the mat I use during TBC but the instructor grabbed me an actual yoga mat. My mat was more padded but it does expand/stretch, which made holding stable positions hard. Throughout class I just followed others because I had no idea what the words the instructor said meant. Yoga has it's own language! Some positions were super hard and the instructor was great! She kept an eye on me and physically readjusted me a few times. The biggest surprise to me was how hard transitioning was, I tried to do it smoothly (like everyone else dis) but sometimes I just had to be ungraceful and plop down. I didn't get as much stretching as I thought I would. I had hoped Yoga would make me more flexible but I'm not sure about that. Overall, it obviously isn't cardio but it was a good class. I wasn't too sore and I felt stronger for having done it. The best part was the few minutes at the end where we laid down in the dark with soothing music playing and relaxed. I need to do that more often. I can take 5 minutes to lay in bed and decompress at the end of the day. It was a bit "new age-y" with the comments about being grateful for our bodies yada, yada, yada but that's not a bad thing. I am just grateful to God for my body rather then being grateful to my body. :)

I've gone a couple times since and really enjoy it. It's a tough class at times and my body doesn't bend like others in the class but I'll get there. It allows me to mix things up!

To buy or not?

So I have hit a solid plateau. I'm trying not to be discouraged. I tell myself "this was my goal weight, if this is where I land it's a healthy weight." I still hope for more weightloss though. Just keep making healthy choices, hoping it will eventually break. One issue with this is the question of whether to buy clothes? I have generally skipped sizes, going from my 16s to purchasing 12s. I have just enough to get by. Mom and I were in TJ Maxx today trying things on and I found a great pair of black slacks, I have black slacks in 14. I've been told they are too big but I didn't want to buy more. Mom pointed out that I shouldn't count on more weightloss, these were very practical. Think if I'm at this weight for 4 more weeks,$20 would be worth it. I saw her point and took the plunge.

Zumba

For awhile people have told me I had to check out Zumba. I was hesitant, it seemed like a fad. This week I was looking to mix up my workouts so I thought I'd try it. I know Zumba is popular so I called ahead. NYSC allows you to reserve the day before, calling at noon the day before I was still the last one on the list! Clearly this is a popular class!

From the start it was ill-fated. I went to the wrong NYSC location! I knew it was near Rock center so I went to the Rock center club. When I didn't see Zumba on the schedule, I asked about it and found out I should have been at 49th/Broadway. I had 8 minutes to run (literally). The club is in a hotel so it was more to navigate but I made it at 5:44. I immediately raised my hand as a rookie and the instructor started to describe the hand signals. There are hand signals?!? I am hosed.... I really enjoyed the first part of the class, it had lots of jumps and hops to get my heart rate up but it was crowded. I was slightly annoyed, the instructor didn't check the list so there were definitely people there that shouldn't have been and it was affecting my experience! As the class progressed, the choreography got harder, I struggled to keep up, and my heart rate started to fall. By the end, I was so ready for class to be over - I was tired of watching my feet to make sure I didn't run into someone else or the wall (I was totally hiding in the back as I always do in a new class).

Overall, it seems like a great thing for people who want something fun, different and dance-based but there were a few people who seemed to get a minimal cardio workout. There were a few ladies in the front who knew the moves and appeared to get a good workout but I thought there were too many breaks (water/towel break after every song was excessive). The class seems to be what you make of it. Not to sound judgmental but it seems like something those that want to say they "worked out" but not really have to work hard enjoy doing. They were a few that barely did the moves, you could easily slack off/stop whenever you want. Clearly it works for some (the instructor was in amazing shape), but it wasn't my cup of tea (320 calories in 45 minutes isn't enough). I won't go back but I'm glad I went. At least I can say I've tried it!

Wait - Eat MORE calories?

Change can be difficult. I was shocked at how changing my eating habits was relatively easy when I made the decision. I think I was so focused on sticking to the plan that I didn't really have an opportunity to see what I was missing. Replace pasta for lunch daily with salmon? I focused on how to cook the salmon and eating it vs missing the pasta (but I digress).

I have been in a plateau for 6 weeks now. It's getting rather annoying. Today I did a bit of research and talked to Ana about it. I read about calorie cycling to confuse your body. The concern being, as I decrease my daily calories, the body starts to conserve energy (and calories). Totally normal but definitely not helping on the scale! Instead, under calorie cycling, I would do 1200 one day and 1400 the next. Hopefully the 1400 calorie days would be enough for my body to recognize more calories and stop conserving. Rather than this approach, Ana suggested a week back at 1500 calories. Ahhhh! This required an emergency second call.

If I had to pick the most valuable lesson I have learned, it's that not all calories are the same. I can't just tack on 300 calories of Teddy Grahams. So we chatted and settled on adding almonds back into breakfast and adding laughing cow cheese with whole grain crackers. The problem with this is I don't have "go to" crackers so the search was on. Trader Joe's always has really smart options, using healthy ingredients loaded with goodness (like flaxseed oil, which I had never heard of pre-TJs). I compared the nutrition facts but ended up buying three boxes. I'll do a taste test and pick my favorites. Always good to add another option to my repertoire of foods!

So this week, regardless of how counterintuitive it is, I'll be back up to 1500 calories. Scary but hopefully it will do the trick!

A different view

The past couple of times I stopped for veggies at Food Emporium I found a disappointingly empty shelf. Out of squash? Out of my veggie mix? Not good! So this time I stocked up. When I opened my freezer again, it struck me how much the view has changed. I know the view in mirror has changed but in my freezer too! I snapped a pic of the new (and improved) view.

A bigger (or second) freezer would be very handy but for now I just have to be organized and do frequent trips to the grocery store.

Peanut Butter

I discovered this great peanut butter brand made the PB&Co downtown; it’s so yummy I find myself sneaking bites at night… not good. There are great flavors but I just stuck with smooth operator because I didn’t trust myself with their chocolate PB concoctions. (Sometimes I just have to say I’ll never try it so I’ll never know what I am missing – that’s my theory on Pinkberry). However, in talking with Ana I wondered if maybe I could switch to the chocolate kind. Oh that opened a can of worms, she got into the sugar content of my PB. Bummer! You mean sugar PB isn’t good for me? That’s unfortunate. I have tried Trader Joe’s PB and it tastes gross but she suggested Smuckers Natural so I said I’d give it a whirl. Now I find that it’s growing on me, tasting better each day. The great part about it is that I don’t really want to snack on it outside of the planned use with apples! It’s apparently true that truly healthy snacks don’t create cravings. It’s the hidden sugar that I wanted...

Cravings

Just when I think I have “conquered” one craving I find another pops up.

First it was sugar. When Ana, my nutritionist, said she would like to see me cut down on sweets back towards the beginning of my healthy eating I flatly said that isn’t going to happen. Then for the 10 days between Labor Day & Katie’s wedding I decided to do a sweets fast. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, 10 days was a manageable time. After that I didn’t need to have a sweet every night. Just as I conquered that, my carbs craving kicked in. So random, but for a while I really struggled with Go Lean Crunch. I just wanted to snack on it all the time. Slightly sweet and carbs – sign me up! I decided I couldn’t buy Go Lean Crunch then the struggle became cereal with chocolate chips (deadly) so now I don’t keep milk in my house. I bring my cereal and use the milk at work (I know it’s for coffee but I don’t drink coffee so this is my milk consumption).

It’s annoying; will I ever not be struggling with a craving? This will probably forever be a battle for me.

Now it's too much?

You can't win. People have been so supportive of my achievements throughout this process. However, within the last month or so, I have noticed more people are now commenting to me not to lose too much. Just today, I saw someone at work (who is naturally a size 4 - I hate you) and she commented that I was wasting away. I take those comments as compliments (choosing to ignore that the choice of using negative words is probably a passive aggressive snottiness). The worst was when someone flat out told me I wouldn't be attractive as a size 4 so watch out for that!

It is beginning to bother me. I am a size 12 - trust me I have plenty to lose still. I am not anorexic here! Before, I definitely had a few to lose but now that I am losing it people are telling me to stop? Is it because seeing me take control and make healthy choices makes them uncomfortable? This is not about them.

Alas, you just can't win....

Spanx

I was cleaning out my drawers tonight, I need a "home" for my workout clothes. For the past few months I've just been hanging them on doorknobs and piling them up. I have many different versions of spanx. These were a critical pieces of clothing, they would help suck in the belly or just add a layer to smooth so the belly was less noticeable. NY is a walking city, I loved my skirts (especially the elastic waistbands) but the thighs would chaff when I walked - spanx helped with that. Tonight I decided it was time to bid the spanx adieu. I no longer need them so I'll replace them with my workout clothes. Seems fitting right?! Here's my favorite pair for those lucky people who don't need to know what spanx are.

The source...

I have been watching Biggest Loser this season. It's my first full season. For years my sister told me to watch but I knew watching others lose weight would make me feel bad so I avoided it. I started watching late last season and just loved he motivation it provided me to follow through on my goal. This season it seemed to me that they were focused on figuring out the source of people's food issues. I've heard the cliche reasons (stress eater, boredom, etc) but this was getting to their individual situations (like one guy who grew up poor, he just ate and ate when he could buy his own food). So interesting! I was talking to Christy wondering what was the source of my food issues. I realized it goes back to California. My time there was not great, I didn't fit in and the kids weren't nice to me. I definitely didn't fit the physical mold of California - I was the "fat girl". I realized food was my way of rebelling against that - I will eat whatever I want and if you don't accept me because I'm fat, that's your problem. I couldn't control whether they accepted me so I chose not to conform to what I perceived that they expected me to be - thin. I was going to be me and I just began to identify myself based on appearance. It was my way to assert my independence. I've never thought about that. It's not that I ate a lot, it's just that I ate crap. After "wasting" my 20's unhappy with my weight, I was not going to allow that to continue. I refuse to be defined by my weight, I am more than just the skinny or fat girl.

Inspiration

One of the most amazing aspects of my weightloss has been when people say that I inspire them. How crazy is that?!? It's definitely a "who'd have thunk that?!" moment for me. It also makes me do happy to hear that, by taking control of my life, I may be helping encourage others to do the same. I never understood why my sister was always so set on me getting healthy. I am beginning to understand, it's addictive - the endorphins, the feeling great about myself and my body. It's definitely something that I want to share with others. A few weeks ago one of my teachers called me out in class, highlighting my progress. She asked how much I has lost (45 pounds at that point). Little did I know at the time but there was another girl in class that was floored by that number. Today she approached me and shared that that was her inspiration to join weight watchers and make the commitment to get rid of those few extra pounds that she always has wanted to shed. She's lost 10 pounds in less than 2 months! It's just astounding and flattering to hear people say that my progress impacts them like that. Ana told me a while ago "learn it, do it, teach it". First I hope to stay dedicated to my healthy lifestyle but I'd also love to help others. If I can do it, anyone can!

Hips & ribs

I can't remember the last time I felt my hipbone. I remember thinking how it was another sign of a skinny person - "wow that's your hipbone!" I realized laying down one night that there was my hipbone! (Why can't we be as skinny standing up as we are laying down?!?Gravity is evil but I digress. Then I was in TBC a few weeks ago and I noticed I could see the outline of my ribs! They do exist :) and they're coming out of hiding.

Youth sizing...

So this weekend was the Broncos game and since none of my old paraphernalia fit me I had to get some new stuff for the game. I got some on eBay but also planned to get more in Denver since places like Old Navy and Target carry Broncos gear here. So much cheaper than NFL Shop! I was looking in Target today for a zip-up sweatshirt and stumbled upon Youth sizing. Was this a secret of skinny people? The clothes are so much cheaper ($28 vs $40 for a zip-up sweatshirt)! I was so excited that I fit. That's my new plan, forget women's clothes to show my support, I'm checking out what stuff there is online in girls and boys sizing! I'm all about saving money and the stuff is just as cute! I got a Tebow jersey for $24 in boys. After the game he played today, I'm glad I got a deal. Fun discovery - thanks Target!

Airplane Food

Oh TSA security, why must you derail my eating? I struggle when I am taken off my plan, whether that be eating out or finding myself hungry unexpectedly while I'm not home...

This is the big weekend! Knocking something off the bucket list - I'm going to the Broncos game. I am so pumped (painted my fingernails blue and orange yesterday)! I planned ahead what I would bring on the plane, some of this weekend I can control my eating. I wanted to stay as close to my normal routine as possible so I grabbed a single serve Chobani and brought my apples & PB (my latest obsession). I knew there was a chance that security would consider yogurt liquid and confiscate it. Sure enough the security guard took it. Shoot! Now I was headed onto a 4.5 hour flight with just apples & PB.... Probably not enough to hold me over, I ate breakfast before I left but that would be 6 hours on just apples.... So I became to review my food options. Of course it was too much to hope for a package of yogurt but there were yogurt parfaits... I started the search on My Fitness Pal to determine what was my best option. With McDonalds at least I now what I'm getting. The random stands could SEEM to be a good choice but may have hidden terribleness. After about 10-15 minutes of indecisiveness I decided just a side of eggs would be best. Yes, I had eggs already this morning but the protein will be filling and there is little that a place can do to plain eggs to add unknown calories/fat. A decision made. I am learning how to make better decisions on the fly all the time! Subway's the plan for lunch once I get the rental car....

The tuck-in

It's odd the things I associated with "being thin". One of those things was the ability to tuck a shirt into pants and were a belt visibly. I always had to big of a belly to do that, I spent years drowning myself I oversized shirts to hide my belly or pulling shirts down when they rode up. I have been tucking shirts in for a while, mainly into skirts. Tonight I was wearing jeans and a sweater. When I was walking, I realized that I finally accomplished what I've always thought looked so nice - shirt tucked into pants with a belt. It's probably a really New England look but hey that's my style! Next summer it'll be khakis with polo shirts tucked in (SO New England!) I still have some belly to get rid of but I'm very proud of how far I've come. The weight may not be falling off at this point but my body is trimming out!

Pretzel M&Ms

Some things seem to speak to me and I really struggle to say no. One thing I see regularly at work (pretty much every time I go to the pantry for food or water) are the pretzel M&Ms. There's a small dispenser, for $0.25 you can get a handful of pretzel M&Ms. What's not to like - sweet & salty, chocolate & carbs. I have to say no, it's not worth it (short term enjoyment at the cost of my long term goal). Sometimes it's easier than other days. Today I was hungry, (or at least I seemed to be hungry, I definitely ate enough that I shouldn't have been) so the calling of those pretzel M&Ms was louder. I am proud to say I didn't give in but I am still dreaming of the day where my "fat girl" desire for unhealthy things is gone... I often doubt that day will ever fully come, they may subside but gone completely? Doubtful.

I'll just have to continue to develop my willpower!

Different ... But the same.

Sometimes I struggle to understand the impact my weightloss is having on my life. I ran into my neighbor today and she commented on how great I look (thanks!) saying "it's really an amazing change". I replied (rather flippantly) "totally different person" and that was that. However, it got me thinking, am I really a different person? Has the change been that drastic that I'm a different person? I know some things have changed - I used to never pass up pizza and would gladly prioritize things over working out. So clearly my choices have changed but has who I am changed? I see the same person - I am still loud and opinionated yet at times very socially awkward. It's probably something I'll never understand and it's a waste of my time to think about it, I'll just get a headache. I should always be looking to develop and grow and this is just me developing into a healthy person that makes smart choices for my body. In the future I'll have something else to develop in order to become the woman that God wants me to be. Just something I was thinking about....

Brussel Sprouts

One (of the many) new things I have found I enjoy as a healthy eater is brussel sprouts. They definitely get a bad reputation! I've always bought them frozen but today I saw what they look like in their natural state. They grow on a stalk. Who would have thought that? Not me! Gotta love Trader Joe's - they taught me something new today!

The Dress

You may think I'm talking about a wedding dress, most times when a girl references "THE DRESS" it's the white expensive variety. For me it does happen to be white but it's my goal dress. I bought it back in July with my mom & sister but I didn't fit in it. Initially I said Summer 2012 but then decided it should be what I wear to my birthday dinner in February. When I need to push myself (like at the end of a spin class), this is the dress I picture. I think I can - no make that I will!

This morning I was wondering how much further I had to go so I put the dress on ... and it zipped!!!! Not ready to be worn outside my apt (still a bit to go for that) but now I may need to tailor this if I want to wear for my birthday dinner! It was definitely 'OMG is this real'? moment!

Here's before (4 inches to go) and after!

M is for Medium

I took a fieldtrip to Salvation Army today as I no longer have a single pair of dress pants that fit me. I found a few exciting things but it was the sweaters that were the best. I started looking for larges but I found out that mediums fit me! I even got one small (clearly a bigger small but still a small)!

In shopping for a fleece vest at TJ Maxx, the large size for my favorite jacket was too big. So I had to go to another TJ Maxx to get a SMALLER size! That's never happened before... It was always that the sizes were too small...

I've always been conservative in my sizing especially as I lost the weight (no need to wear something too small!) Clearly today taught me that I need to think of myself as a Medium!!!

Old Clothes

So Christy has harassed me that I can't just wear super old clothes (we're talking high school here). There are a few things that I saved because I loved them and I told myself I'd fit back in them one day. I've been blowing through them one by one but today I wore a sweatshirt from HS and it was a bit big! It was another moment...

Here's a pic

Plateau

Today I busted through my first plateau. I had a great victory to hit 185 on 9/16 but then hung steady at 185 for 3 weeks! I was getting discouraged but told myself if this truly is a life change in my eating then the number on the scale shouldn't impact my decisions. I rededicated myself to eating right, no cheating or sweets allowed from Monday until weigh in this morning. Something worked because I was 186 on Monday morning and 180.6 today! I just have to keep making wise choices, one day at a time!

Calfs

So I've always had big calfs*. I've blamed genetics but it was really annoying for things like boots. They never fit my calfs. Last year I bought 2 pairs of "extra wide" knee high boots (flats and high heels). I went to wear my high heeled boots tonight and the calf was big! I actually considered if it looked too odd to wear but decided they were fine. With the weight loss has come a smaller "me" in many areas, including my calfs! :)

Now I just have to get my watch resized - another thing that's shrinking is my wrist :)

* I'm pretty sure this should be "calves" but I didn't like how that looked so I made an editor's decision to use poor English!

Great Adventure

So tonight we went to Great Adventure for Frightfest. I was recalling the last time I went (May 2009) and how much trouble I had picking an outfit. It should be easy - jeans and a top. However, I had no casual pants that fit me at the time. I was living in dresses and elastic skirts on weekends. This time the problem was finding a jacket that fit - my jackets are too big! :) Plus, riding the roller coasters is easier because I fit better. I've never had to worry about not fitting in a seat (thankfully, I was never that big!). But it was easier this time! Just another moment...

These moments keep me going, this is why I eat brussel sprouts!

Donations Part 1

Tonight was our adventure in a zipcar to donate my business clothes. The plan is to have Salvation Army come pick up my casual clothes but I wanted to get my workwear somewhere that will get it into the hands of those who need it.

It was rainy and we were running late but it all worked out. It was a lot of fun dropping them off knowing how much good would come from them. We had 8 bags so it took two trips. When we came with the first round, the woman was so grateful. She said they were running low and totally needed the bags. I know that bigger sizes are particularly in demand (according to their site as well as others) so that was a bonus. It was fun to say there's more coming!

It was cleansing to give the clothes away KNOWING that I'll never be those sizes again but happy that I could pass them onto someone who will continue to get use out of them.

I've included the picture of my pile to donate (casual and business wear). :)

Size 12

Today I wore size 12 jeans .... all day long!

Enough said!

185! 50 pounds lost....

So my original goal weight was 185. Actually 185 has always been my goal weight - for about 10 years I have thought that 185 is a good number. It's not so low that it feels out of reach (like 150 is really skinny!) but it still is thin. When I started this journey back in April, I decided 5 pounds each month is reasonable and that would get me to 185 by February. Then, in June, my diet change completely kickstarted the weightloss and it just started to fall off me (usually about 10 lbs a month). I realized at my last weigh-in (before Labor Day) that my 192 put me 7 pounds from my original goal. Then I weighed in after Labor and had zero weightloss. Depressing. So at Friday's weigh-in I was hoping for 2 pounds on the scale, best case scenario 4 lbs. 4 lbs would be good, that would be 47 lbs lost so I could tell people at Katie's wedding 50 lbs (close enough!). I was nervous at weigh-in and when it beeped and I looked down, it said 185.6 lbs. I can't describe that feeling. A HUGE VICTORY!! I may have even fist pumped. Clearly, 185 isn't my goal anymore. I just want to see where my body lands based on my smart eating but to lose 7 lbs in one week is amazing and to hit 185 in the same day was just exhilerating! Still as I write this a couple days later, I can't believe it. SO EXCITING!!!

High Heels

So I like my high heels but I have a pair of boots I don't wear when I know I'll be walking. I tried on my size 32 jeans today for the game and they basically fit. However they are long so I really should wear heels with them.... I pulled out my black heels figuring that now that I weigh 50 lbs less it will be easier to walk further in them. Sure enough, the balls of my feet don't hurt as much. I can understand more now how twigs (i.e. fashionistas) can wear high heels all day long. When you're not putting 230 lbs on the balls of your feet it's easier to wear them longer! YAY, not only am I in fabulous jeans but I can extend heels to my personal life more!

Katie's Wedding

So today was Katie's wedding. I was kind of looking forward and dreading it. It would be fun to see some people but the awkward conversations with those I don't know well, I don't like that stuff. Anyhow, I had my fabulous dress (size 14!!) and went with Mon & Dad. We got there and Stephanie (cousin from CO) is just arriving. Now Stephanie hasn't seen me in like 2 years and I highly doubt she's heard about the weighloss. She noticed immediately and commented, she actually commented a few times throughout the night. I have gotten better at the compliments. It's generally not a reflection that I didn't look good before (well I definitely didn't look like this!) but rather an encouragement for all my hard work. So a few people came up to me to comment on my weightloss (Uncle Bob's "who's that hot chick?" was sweet albeit a bit awkward). The worst was Katie's cousin from her other side of the family (totally wasted) telling me that I looked great considering I used to be heavy. She brought up a broken chair (faulty chair, I wasn't that big) that I would have liked to keep forgotten. When she repeated "no you used to be really heavy" it became offensive. Ahhh alcohol, you lose all filter.

One thing I do have to figure out is how to handle attention. For example, I used to not really have a waist so not very many people grabbed me around the middle. I feel like I've missed a critical step in developing, how do I handle the random drunk guys when they pay attention to me? I never had to deal with that before.... I haven't really changed, I still won't be flippant in dealing with guys (sometimes the Jewish law of no contact before marriage seems easier, it certainly gets rid of awkward/questionable situations). So this is something I'll have to deal with. It was fun to not constantly adjust my dress or cover my arms. Many things are so much less of a concern/issue for me now. I still have some fat spill at my elbow but overall my arms are toning up (and shrinking in size). Now I just have to make sure my appearance continues to be a minor aspect of my life. The important thing is WHO I am, a child of God.

The Ones...

So I typically do classes for my workout but every so often I hit the machines for a few minutes. I never really bother with the settings since I have my heart rate monitor, I just do quickstart. Today, I was going to do a full workout on the "yellow footie machine" so I started inputting my stats. When it got to weight, I realized I get to put in 192. Not 200-something but 100-something! It was an unexpected moment of joy, right there in the smelly crowded gym. Those are the moments that make the smart choices worthwhile. Meal by meal, bite by bite, I get healthy. Soon I'll be putting in 160-something, which would just be amazing!!! There's always something to look forward to!

Demonstration

Another milestone: Lamont used me as an example of how to a push up correctly. Who would have thought that 6 mths ago. Now if only I could do all the ab work in his class...

Side effects

A couple more bonuses of losing weight:

1) no more lower back pain while doing the dishes. I'm not sure if this is because I do the dishes more frequently now so it's a shorter time spent leaning over the sink or due to the weight loss. Either way, I'll take it!

2) It's easier to paint my toenails as there is less of a gut to get in the way! :)

Yay!! It's the small victories that keep me going - keep the eye one the prize - 7 months to go!!!

Can't avoid it forever

It was time to face my apartment. It had gotten out of control and mostly due to my clothes (and the heap of bags/boxes piled up by the door). I had opened up the box of previously too small clothes which ended up being the definition of opening a can of worms. If I brought out clothes, I had to address the clothes already filling my closet and dresser. So I ignored the mountains of clothes stacked by my closet. Until today. It was quite a productive night. After my trampoline class I went to Home Depot to find the right drywall screws to use hanging the table. Then I went to work. I did the table, which Ikea had two people doing but I was able to use a chair to assist. Then it was clothes. It was exciting to "rediscover" clothes but as the giveaway pile grew I must admit it was sad to see some clothes go. The fat pants that with a tag noting an acceptable size number but fit me at my fattest. The memories that some items brought back just because I was wearing them at pivotal times. But alas most are far too old. As the new clothes came out I found some, more than I would like to admit actually, that I bought because I was sure I'd lose a few and fit into them - only to have never worn them. No more! So I packed up the old and organized the new. I felt it was an important moment in my journey so I just wanted to share ;) I am set now until the Fall, when I'll have to go through the winter clothes (which I hopefully won't fit into then!)

Urban Rebounding

So there is a class at NYSC called Urban Rebounding, which is a trampoline class. The last time I tried to get in it was full. This time I just barely got a spot. I got there five minutes early and took a spot in the back. I was a rookie and someone nice in front of me said just follow me or the other girls. Don't worry about this time, it takes a few classes to get it. Glad she said that - who would think bouncing is hard. However, you have to control your bounces to stay on the beat and get down to the "rebounder" on time. Within a few moments my heart rate was up to 158 -so clearly the cardio was there! It was fun but I forgot my trauma on the trampoline. At 13, I was on a big trampoline and in trying to avoid bouncing into someone I bounced right off the trampoline to a broken wrist. Not fun! So the bouncing brought that back but I powered through. I didn't have the balance other girls did but I guess that comes with experience. You must get adjusted. I stayed on the whole time (there were some close calls) and got a good workout in. I'd do it again but I found out after the class that it was more advanced. Maybe I'll schlep up to 125th to try theirs to see if it's more basic. This was kicks and hops, let's start with controlling the bouncing first people! There are only a few gyms with trampolines and only a few classes during non-work hours so it's a limited selection. I am glad I found it, it's another workout to mix it up, now I have step, spin, "rebounding" and the gym (aka my favorite scenic video game-like bike). Pretty good variety! The one negative - somewhere along the way I lost my lock for the locker room .... Drats!

Side effects

There have been some unexpected side effects of my weight loss. I knew I would have to get out my smaller clothes (yay!) and I had plenty so no need to spend money there. This morning I was putting on a gray skirt and I tucked in my shirt (which I can do now because I have a smaller belly). This particular skirt had belt loops so I figured I would add my cute silver belt. However when I put it on, there weren't holes where I needed them - it was too big! I shared my discovery with my sister, who I was talking to at the time, and she was thrilled. I should be too but now I must go buy a new belt! Overall it's totally great and I will go get a new belt (along with new workout tank tops since those are too big now too). I typically haven't fit in normal belts (i.e. those sold at Macy's) so maybe I should try there! That would be another great milestone!

Dishes

When I started cooking I knew it would be a challenge in my small kitchen. At times it has been, there isn't enough counter space and my stove is smaller than most so it barely fits two pots side by side. The worst is my sink, it is small and fills up so quickly. Then where do I put the dishes once they are washed? I have an in-sink drying rack so that doesn't work. I used to do dishes once a week - now I do them basically daily! The one plus, my lower back would hurt after hunching over the sink and now it doesn't! It's all worth it but my new eating habits are more expensive, so bringing lunch isn't saving much rather offsetting the increased grocery bill!

Spinners

After at the ortho on Monday she told the best thing for me knees was to lose the weight (working on it!) and instead of doing solely step, I should try other things. She suggested spin. Now spin is very intimidating. 'Spinners are intense' is what I always thought. I was willing to try it though. My sister mentioned that people swear by spin. So I called a few gyms. Granted I was calling at like 3 but still it took about 5 gyms to get a decent time (ie not 5 pm) with space available. That was slightly annoying since I was calling from work but whatever, I was quiet when I made what was clearly a personal call :) Of course I was running late - I wanted to be early and I was less than five minutes early. I find the studio and it's full of people with the lights off. Weird - so I wait. Then someone walks past me into the studio. There isn't a class before so I was very confused why people were in the studio. Finally I ask someone, are the people in the studio there for the 6:30 class? Yes they're warming up... Hmm spinners are intense. Of course by now there is only a bike available to the side of the instructor. Great! Now my incompetence will be on display for all to see! Woo hoo! I get there and being the independent person I am I try to figure it out on my own. Finally I ask the girl next to me - how do I adjust the seat? Then I hear someone say "how we doing over here?" I had to confess to the instructor that I was a rookie. I am glad I did! There are positions in spin! Who would have thought?! The instructor checked up on me occasionally throughout class. I was busy trying to act like I knew what was I was doing and trying to get air! We did the whole class in the dark (I have come to realize this is common) but it was interesting and SUPER hard. Just like when I started step. Pouring sweat and barely keeping up. There are so many spin classes available and it's a great workout (usually 500 calories for a 45 minute class) so I'll add it to my repertoire but I don't know that I'll ever be a crazy spinner. I am typically late and doubt I'll ever care where my bike is (except no front row please!) so I make a mediocre spinner but the result is the same - great workout!

Time for action

Like so many before me I have "tried" to diet and change my ways so many times that I have lost count. I get motivated and then sink back into the status quo. When I turned 29, I made a commitment that I would take my health back by the 30 birthday or, more importantly, the trip planned with my sister and mom for my 30th. It has been slow and really more about small steps to changing my life. It first started with bringing my lunch to work so I knew what I was eating. Recently I have been encouraged to expand my horizons into new foods (vegetables and fish - gasp!). Apparently being healthy means 50% fruits/veggies!!! In order to do that I need to stop eating cereal for dinner 5 nights a week and start cooking, the goal is to have each dinner include protein (fish, turkey, chicken) and veggies. Lunches will be dinner from the previous night and snacks will be fruit based. Now my tiny New York City kitchen will be more used each night than it typically was in a week, hopefully I won't set off the fire alarm...